[[!template id=lexeme lexeme=Podilectern pos=n]] (also __a jumbled variety
of simultaneous failed attempts to pronounce it, never the same twice__).

"Glory be to God for dappled things," says the poet [[!wikipedia
Gerard_Manley_Hopkins desc="Hopkins"]] -- and the Podilectern is just
such a one. Neither [[!wiktionary podium]] nor [[!wiktionary lectern]],
but a miraculous conjunction of the two, its doubleness is the source
of its mystery and wonder.

The function of the Podilectern is similar to that of the "[[!wiktionary
rostrum]]" in other, less sophisticated literary societies. Members
speak from behind the Podilectern when addressing an item of Old or
New Business, when discharging the duties of the [[Nomenclaturist General]],
and, most importantly, when delivering a
speech. In this latter case, approach to the Podilectern is granted at the
discretion of the [[Moderator]], if and only if the Moderator looks upon
the prospective speaker's [[obsequy]] with favor. Failure to state one's
name and other relevant information (e.g. favorite, committee) immediately
after approaching yon Podilectern is considered in extremely poor taste.

In case this unfamiliar word should present a challenge to some (we are
not, after all, a pronunciation society), the Moderator, before beginning
the debate, traditionally leads those present
in the clear and correct pronunciation of "Podilectern." This service
is ostensibly intended for those unfamiliar with Philo practice -- yet
paradoxically, even some of Philo's oldest and most venerable members
still appear to find the difficulties of its pronunciation insurmountable.

Historical note: the dual nature of the Podilectern was debated at the
[[!wikipedia First_Council_of_Ephesus desc="Council of Ephesus in 431"]],
where the doctrine of [[!wikipedia Nestorianism]] (that the Podilectern
was comprised of two distinct persons, one podium and one lectern)
was rejected as a heresy. Since then Philo dogma has insisted on the
inseparability of its podiousness from its lecternity, both of which
subsist in an integrated whole.

Actual historical note: Podilecterns are a feature of Columbia classrooms
that haven't been upgraded with fancy electronic systems. Therefore, they
may be a dying presence on campus. When the Society has occasionally
lost its podilectern (heaven forfend), it has been replaced by the
commandeering of one from a classroom for Philo purposes. The most recent
podilectern was appropriated sometime around [[spring|events/spring]]
2004. It is most remarkable for its loose plank, which most likely
came undone in a dropping of the podilectern. Said plank became an
immortal Philo prop in 2004 when [[Edward Rueda]] used it to
mock-crucify [[Melisa Kenslea]] while she was delivering
a speech.

Related: [[Poderection]]